Wednesday, April 11, 2012
16 Years Ago Today My Life Changed
Hmmm.. Today is a hard day for me, but really, if I am honest this whole week has been tough for me as well as my whole family. 16 years ago on this date, my grandmother, Neenie, was murdered by my grandfather, who then took his own life. My grandmother, Neenie, was more like a mother to me at times than my own mom. I knew with my grandmother, her love was unconditional where often times at home, love felt conditonal. Neenie loved me as I was.. No question and no doubt. I knew she wanted the best for me and was always cheering me on in whatever aspect of my life I was facing. Whether that was school, friends, choir, dreams, goals or marriage and family. I knew that some of my decisions she might have been unhappy with or disappointed in, but I never once heard a negative word come out of her mouth about me or my decisions. She LOVED ME and I am forever grateful for that. She changed me in so many ways. I had the grandmother that most kids dreamed of having, yet very few had the privilige of having. She was the grandmother who took the time to have slumber parties with me and my friends, took the time to show me how to cook, sew and even had the patience to help me learn to drive. She was the fun grandmother who always included everyone at her house, even my friends and cousins from the other side of the family. We had homemade taffy pulls with lots of dripping butter so the taffy wouldn't burn our hands. We had tea parties and made mud pies and mud towns under the big tree in her backyard. We took trips to Sonic for a coke. She would invite me to her house for the weekend and we would go to church or I would spend the summers with her, which then allowed me to go with her to work. I loved going to her office and pretending to work as a secretary. But my best memory of all is her taking the time to make sure I was in church as often as my parents would allow because we didn't live in the same town. Sometimes it was every weekend or every other weekend, or even at times longer than that before we saw each other again, but I always knew that when I went to Neenie's, we were going to church. Through her example and her love, I was saved and baptized in 1979 at Fairview Baptist Church in Levelland Texas, which is the home church of all of my grandmothers family. They all still attend there. This blog today is to remember my wonderful grandmother, Neenie, who God somehow knew I would need in my life to give me the godly example of a good, christian woman, wife, and mother. I loved her and will always miss her. But one day we will meet again. Today has been a sad time for me. I usually don't go to the cemetary during the year to see any of my family there, but today I really felt like I needed to make that trip. I believe God did something in my heart today when I went there. Something finally broke free in all of the anger I have had in losing her to murder and my grandfather to suicide. The weight is lifting some. More and more each day. I know I will never forget her and I will never stop missing her, but God has a plan even in the pain and suffering. Neenie, I hope you are proud of me and the life I am living. I want you to be proud of me.. I miss you. For: Inetha Henderson Cooke Sones April 11th 1996 Even when I doubt, I know Jesus never fails..