Pain

Last week was really a tough week for me due to the memories I faced of my grandmother and her murder. It was also a rough week because in the same week many years ago, my husbands brother took his own life, so the week of April 10-17th is a rough one for my whole family. Yet, this is another week and I am trying to move forward. I have been struggling with some issues from my past and I know that God wants me to be free from the past but for some reason I keep beating myself up over the same things. But I am done with that... Do you hear me enemy? You cannot beat me up anymore. You know exactly where I struggle but I am not going to let you make me jump off into that pit any longer. I previously, willingly, jumped off into that pit because I didn't feel like I was worth anymore than the pain and hurt and fear I struggled with, yet through the last few years, I am learning that I am worth so much to God and that is enough. Maybe I will never be a awesome writer, blogger etc, but I know regardless of what I accomplish in this life, none of that matters to God. He loves me, accepts me, is enthralled with my beauty, chose me and wants the best for me, no matter what others think or say about me. I cannot live in the past or in the pain from the past. Sometimes it might be easier to keep living that "story" but is that "story" glorifying God or glorifying the enemy? I know my story has awesome miracles and powerful experiences that I know are valuable teaching and ministry tools, but I do not want to use my past pain to give the enemy more credit than God. God is the ultimate healer of my soul as well as the lover of my soul. He will never leave me, nor forsake me. He will always accept me no matter how much I fail or how often I keep making the same mistakes. Today, I pray for you that you will also remember that God loves you and wants you to be released from your pain. Use your past to minister to others and help others find freedom, but don't allow the enemy to use your "story" against you. You are free today, my friend. Hugs and Blessings to You...